Caffeine...

I envy my husband at times...he can pop a Mountain Dew, eat a cookie and be sleeping in 15 minutes.  While I...well, I'm not allowed to have soda, chocolate or anything overly sugary after say...4:00 p.m.  If I do, there is no rest for me.

I'm tired...exhausted from tossing and turning all last night...and my Ginger sits on my lap whining for release from wakefulness...but here I sit.  I guess, I deserve it for downing that 12 ounces of Cherry Dr. Pepper with my bagel sandwich...bummer.

So, as happens many of these nights that sleep evades me...I sit and think. This time I think of nothing particularly in particular...just mentally counting my blessings I guess.

My mom is here to visit, and it's always stressful having her here.  She is overly critical, pushy, strong and unintentionally mean...and completely and utterly wonderful.  I miss her when she's away, and since the last time she was to visit was a year ago, I'm trying to savor the moments I get to have her here.  She brings out a different side of Austin, and she is really getting to know Lizzie, Cassidy is a little less angry all the time -- I have more patience with the kids.  D even feels a touch better with her around.

I never really was close to my mom, but tonight, we went for a walk, and it was really lovely -- I could have walked all night.  The air was cool and moist on our skin, but not humid -- the conversation was light and happy, silly reminiscences, smiles and just sharing plain happiness of the moment.  I made silent promises to myself to call her more often, and just chat (I've done better this year) to hear her voice and catch up on things that are important to her.

Somewhere along the line -- your mom becomes a person, and not just your mom...and it's really neat to see that.  I feel like I've got this revelation on both ends, because somewhere along the line...your daughter becomes a person...and not just a kid.  I watch Cassidy grow, and she truly is turning into a young lady...she's STILL a kid (as she was rambling off all the games she hopes to play this year for her 13th birthday party)...but she's just a shimmering glimmer of who she WILL be...and that is pretty cool.  I know she'll be a person to me before I am to her...I just hope she doesn't wait as long as I did to see her mom as a person too.

So...with the revelations...with the time spent...with the laughter shared...with the moments savored...I'm going to try to sleep.  My heart is full of blessings, and I couldn't honestly say that I'm anything but pleased.