Sunday, December 16, 2012

Adventures in cooking -- CAUTION: I ramble...


Okay – so I’ve been experimenting with cooking and really having fun with it…so I muddled a couple of the Steak Marsala recipes and created my own.  Here it is:

Stuff you need to have or buy:
4 – 6 Steaks
Olive oil
1 red onion diced
1 pound mushrooms sliced
Kosher salt
Black pepper
2 TBS butter
2 cups Marsala wine
2 TBS Beef Base
1 ½ cup water
1 TBS Minced Garlic (one or two cloves)
1 TBS Flour

Hardware:
Large Saucepan/Deep skillet
Grill (or stovetop grill pan) OR Pan to cook steaks in
Whisk

OKAY first I have to note a few things…I used sirloins because that’s what I had handy, but I really think any steaks will do – even the mock tenders they sell would be good if you just tenderize them a little bit.  Same goes for red onion – it’s what I had, I’m sure a white onion, yellow onion or shallot will do nicely if you have those…key on those is dice ‘em.

Secondly, I used button mushroom (though many of the recipes called for crimini/baby bellas or portabellas) because they were on sale for 1.99 and I wasn’t going to spend twice as much for them…I’m cheap.

I did bother to buy kosher salt though…it was 94 cents for the container, and I know I’ll use it.

Butter – I sprung for real butter (it’s on sale right now with the holidays) and I opted for unsalted…knowing this dish is generally a salty dish, I didn’t want to add any unnecessary salt in the butter.

Marsala wine – I have a friend that said they pick up theirs in the grocery store, but I actually hit a liquor store and got it for about $11 – and you can probably make the sauce 3 or even 4 times with that amount of wine. I didn’t really measure out how much wine I used either…I’m looking at about 1/3 of the bottle gone – so I’m guessing approximately 1 ½ to 2 cups.

BEEF BASE!!! O…mygoodness…. Okay I found this wonderful thing called “Better than Bouillon Beef Base” you can get it in the broth section of your store, and it’s soooo very flavorful.  It’s a paste the comes in a jar…BUT if you don’t want to use that, you can use beef broth – you’ll need one full can of beef broth. ALSO if you are making chicken marsala, sub beef for chicken broth…and obviously you’d delete the 1 ½ cups water if you use the hydrated beef base.

EVERYTHING else looks self explanatory – so here we go.

First set your steaks out, rub them with olive oil and season with kosher salt and pepper. Allow them to sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes, so you are dealing with a piece of meat that is room temperature.

While you are waiting go ahead and mix your beef base with water (it’ll make a stronger broth than the packaging suggests, but you want that)…and set it aside for later.

Set your saucepan/skillet to heat up, once hot melt your butter (it should make that lovely sizzle noise).  Once the pan is warm again (careful not to brown your butter) seer your steaks – this is not the cook through, but to just grab some flavor from them and sear them.  Now you can technically cook them now, to let them rest before eating, but I just seared them (making sure to turn them only once) and moved them onto my stovetop grill pan to finish cooking til they were about medium, I can’t do a well done steak – bleck.

Now you should have a few lovely bits of steak on your saucepan/skillet and you are so happy because now you will dump your onions and garlic into the pan and add your mushrooms – yes, all of them.  I told you that you needed a large saucepan. DON’T add oil – I know there’s temptation, but don’t – the mushrooms will add lots of juice to your pan shortly. If you aren’t a HUGE fan of mushrooms, you can do just one 8 oz package instead of two…. Now this is going to take a minute and I’m impatient so I kept stirring and testing mushrooms just to make sure they were still yummy.  They were…in case you were concerned.  While the mushrooms start to shrink the liquid in the pan will grow – you will use a slotted spoon to remove the mushrooms and onions after about 5-7 minutes **did you check to see if you steak needs to be flipped yet? **   Try to get all the mushrooms out (and into a bowl – they are going back in the sauce shortly) but if some onions hang out, don’t stress.. **DO NOT TURN DOWN THE HEAT**

Once you have just the liquid in the pan, put the flour in and whisk like the wind…I guess it’s creating sort of a rue…once it’s all clumpy, time for wine.  Pour your wine into the pan and this is where the whisk really gives you a work out….whisk whisk whisk it up!!  **STILL OVE THE HEAT** At first I was kind of wigging because there were clumps – keep whisking they will smooth out (remember though, you left a few onions in because that stupid slotted spoon didn’t get ‘em all – so don’t freak).  Relatively smooth – check – add your broth (that you mixed up earlier – or out of the can).  Whisk it…let it boil.  If you think it’s too watery – then mix another tablespoon of flour with either wine or more beef broth, and whisk it into the sauce.
Now, a lot of recipes say you should put the steak into the sauce, but I prefer to keep them separate until they get to my plate (mostly because I have particular children)…SO I served them separately…but that’s really all you do.

Finish cooking the steak, allow it to rest a few – and serve.  I chose to serve my steak with garlic mashed taters and broccoli – but next time I think I’d choose a different veggie…try something kind of light and bright – salad, steamed green beans, carrots…my favorite would be asparagus....or maybe broccoli without the cheese woulda been good.  This is the recipe I looked at most when adapting:



And this is the beef base that I use: 



Sorry – I can’t just type a recipe normal, I have to include an obscene amount of commentary…BUT bottom line is it was a SUPER easy recipe, tastebudtacular deliciousness and DEFINITELY going to make it again.  If my recipe is to talky – try the linked one. SOOOO good.




Thursday, November 29, 2012

Kansas...


So, we've been here in Kansas for almost two weeks...and it's a completely different world.  I don't mean that in a bad way...not at all.

Here's an update...So the girls started school on Monday, and they are both so very happy.

Cassidy is happy every day.  She misses her friends, but not because she doesn't have new friends to hang with.  She was taking a couple classes for high school credit, and I'm really happy that she gets to still take them.  I drop her off at the high school for her French class and her Geometry, then the school takes her back to middle school where she takes the rest of her classes (including baking -- which makes her super happy).  IN FACT...she made us cinnamon rolls this morning!!  They were very good,  and the kids all got a hot and delicious breakfast.  Tuesday nights the recreation center (WRC) has a "Teen Club" where the kids can go and hang out together, play video games and enjoy each other's company (all free)...and they can buy snacks at the snack bar.  They have the same sort of thing for students (2nd - 5th grade) everyday but Wednesday. She wants to be in karate, and hip-hop and already has a dress to wear to the winter semi-formal dance (for middle schoolers only).  She's also ready to attend Redline (dodgeball) night...and wants to be in Peter Pan (community theatre). 

Elizabeth started her schooling experience with the first girl spotted her being disappointed that Lizzie wasn't in her class...since she has reported boys winking (ugh), earning AR points, learning to put her finger on her lips to hush those that talk to her and she’s earned a candy every day but one so far (hence learning to respond to talkers with a silent finger on her lips).  She of course sports her cutest outfit creations and insists on a new hairstyle each day…but that is Lizzie.  She has made a dozen new friends and really is enjoying her time so far.  She wants to be in dance (all dance), cheer, girl scouts and ANYTHING that I can put her in.  We have a date with Santa on Saturday…for breakfast and a craft.

         So I took Austin to the doctor yesterday, and doc said the rash was NOT chickenpox…and furthermore he feels the rash, presenting itself when it did, was more about stress than anything else.  We will find out (after the cortisone does it’s trick and he settles in) if the doctor is correct.  His first day of school was today, and he was over the moon to be there.  In fact, if the rash was stress induced – then school was a good medicine for him – he came home looking “significantly better” than the morning.  Today he was barraged by boys and girls alike wanting to meet him.  The entire 5th grade was a buzz with the words, “Austin’s here? I want to meet Austin…I want to meet him!”  A celebrity before he even showed up…he felt great to be there.  Basketball practice was incredible too…a coach that seemed to want to teach him, and the way you REALLY know is watching his son out there giving my son tips and pointers.  For never really touching a basketball in his life, he did alright.  He needs to learn the rules, and understand the math behind the game, but he will do just fine once he gets that down.  In his words, “This has been the best day ever!”  I’m so happy to see my children so happy.

         It’s nice to be around so many nice people – it’s such a great slow down of pace.  A place where the doctor actually WRITES a doctor’s excuse…and the attendant lets you know that you haven’t been forgotten when you’ve waited for 20 minutes to see the doctor – I’ve waited for an hour without seeing so much as a whisper in my direction.  People waving at you as they drive by, having a conversation with you in line at the grocery store, making eye-contact and smiling, neighbors stopping their car to chat a while…it’s not a culture shock really – because this is what I grew up with.  San Antonio is such a special unique place where it’s a huge big city – but people are friendly – or at least they were when I grew up, and I’m pretty sure not much has changed in that culture.  The only difference between San Antonio and Wellington (other than the obvious size, population, and traffic) is the complete and utter lack of friends.

         I know, it should happen in time…but for now, I feel so lonely.  I can’t even fill out the emergency contact portion of the kids’ school enrollment papers.  I think that’s when it hit me the hardest.

         I have no one.

         It’s really hard to start over, it took me 11 years to get a close friend in Florida and I miss her so much it hurts just to type it.  I was starting to get other friends too…I mean really – starting to try and open up and get to know people.  In San Antonio I really only have a handful of friends, but they are mine – and I love them so much – and miss them like crazy.  I know people are nice here, and eventually the friends will come…but I feel like I have to prove myself again.  I feel like wearing a sign that says: “I’m a good person – really I am – just ask me a question.  Care about me.  I’m a really, REALLY talented teacher – I help kids shine and LOVE learning – just give me a shot – I promise I’m worth it.”

         I know this is all lame…I feel like I’m one of the kids that just got pegged with a dodgeball and I can hear myself yelling from the sidelines, “SHAKE IT OFF!!! C’mon, you can do this – man up!!  It’s okay, you are FINE…just shake it off.”

         I’m not looking for sympathy – I know God’s got this – I know I’m going to come out alright because His plan for me is far beyond what I understand, and my plan for me has very little to do with what His plan for me entails…I accepted that before we chose to come here, I guess I’m just venting.  Call it electronic therapy session…this is me laying on the couch and pouring out my wah-fest.
         
         Aside from all that – I am adjusting to the cold weather quite quickly…it was hot as can be today – we got all the way up to 65 and I almost broke out the shorts, but in retrospect, I knew it was going to be warm when I woke up and it was already 40 out.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Teaching Ideas...

Why is it that the best ideas come when I'm supposed to be sleeping and then I can't sleep because though I was drifting off just moments before, now I'm wide awake and any hope of sleeping has to be abandoned until I get the bug out of my head.

I am looking forward to being a substitute for a little while once I move to Kansas because right now I'm in a creative drive.  I've been watching a lot of videos (mainly at TeacherTipster.com) and I am whole-heartedly impressed.  Many of the ideas are things I've done naturally in my classroom, small things that you don't think about doing, but really and truly make a huge difference in your classroom management and productivity.

I keep thinking to myself, why don't I make some videos for intermediate teachers, he does an excellent job with ideas he has for the primary level (K-3 for any of my non-teacher friends) and spends a little bit of time apologizing to the intermediate teachers.  A lot of his ideas can be adapted and easily used in upper grade-levels though.  Honestly, I don't know how people that teach those little guys can do it.  I thoroughly enjoy teaching the older kids, they have a lot of fun personality.

I've created a list (short as it may be) of topics I'd like to cover in possible videos -- the problem is -- personality-wise I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.  Also discipline-wise being cut out for it is not exactly a guarantee.  I was supposed to blog -- and well...yeah.

SOOOO...I need to think on this a bit more, but I have my first 12 videos thought up, I just need to generalize my ideas a tad, and really put some focus on getting a likable personality on camera...maybe?   Maybe this will be tougher than initially anticipated.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

So, it's been three weeks since I left my hubby in Kansas, and to say the least I miss him.  I'm a mess -- literally.  I can't seem to get my classroom in order and I'm striving to have piles of things on my desk, instead -- it's just a cluttered sadness.

My students though make me feel happy most days.  Today we completed our drug free door decor...and I'm proud of the hodge-podge that was created.  We smushed a bunch of ideas together and came up with "Drugs darken our world... Be the light, be drug-free."  Each student wrote WHY they are choosing to be drug free on a star.  Here are a few of my faves:

-- "I want to be drug-free because I want to go to Duke University and be a Blue Devil." ~ Danaiziah

-- "I am staying drug-free so my career of a surgeon won't be ruined." ~ Luis

-- "I am going to be drug-free so I can go to colige and get my education." ~ David

BUT...my all time favorite reason ever...and three of my boys wrote similar to this but:

-- "I am staying drug free because I have a goal to play football for the San Francisco 49ers so I can get Mrs. Harriger tickets so she can watch me play." ~ Jason

Love my class -- how blessed am I to be their teacher!!


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Caffeine...

I envy my husband at times...he can pop a Mountain Dew, eat a cookie and be sleeping in 15 minutes.  While I...well, I'm not allowed to have soda, chocolate or anything overly sugary after say...4:00 p.m.  If I do, there is no rest for me.

I'm tired...exhausted from tossing and turning all last night...and my Ginger sits on my lap whining for release from wakefulness...but here I sit.  I guess, I deserve it for downing that 12 ounces of Cherry Dr. Pepper with my bagel sandwich...bummer.

So, as happens many of these nights that sleep evades me...I sit and think. This time I think of nothing particularly in particular...just mentally counting my blessings I guess.

My mom is here to visit, and it's always stressful having her here.  She is overly critical, pushy, strong and unintentionally mean...and completely and utterly wonderful.  I miss her when she's away, and since the last time she was to visit was a year ago, I'm trying to savor the moments I get to have her here.  She brings out a different side of Austin, and she is really getting to know Lizzie, Cassidy is a little less angry all the time -- I have more patience with the kids.  D even feels a touch better with her around.

I never really was close to my mom, but tonight, we went for a walk, and it was really lovely -- I could have walked all night.  The air was cool and moist on our skin, but not humid -- the conversation was light and happy, silly reminiscences, smiles and just sharing plain happiness of the moment.  I made silent promises to myself to call her more often, and just chat (I've done better this year) to hear her voice and catch up on things that are important to her.

Somewhere along the line -- your mom becomes a person, and not just your mom...and it's really neat to see that.  I feel like I've got this revelation on both ends, because somewhere along the line...your daughter becomes a person...and not just a kid.  I watch Cassidy grow, and she truly is turning into a young lady...she's STILL a kid (as she was rambling off all the games she hopes to play this year for her 13th birthday party)...but she's just a shimmering glimmer of who she WILL be...and that is pretty cool.  I know she'll be a person to me before I am to her...I just hope she doesn't wait as long as I did to see her mom as a person too.

So...with the revelations...with the time spent...with the laughter shared...with the moments savored...I'm going to try to sleep.  My heart is full of blessings, and I couldn't honestly say that I'm anything but pleased.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Numbers...

Numbers are essential to our every day lives.  Try to explain that to a child learning algebra, geometry or trig and they might just tell you that you're nuts, but it's true.

It's funny because numbers are complicated -- some are identifying -- addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers.  Others are depressing (or delightful) depending on what they are attached to -- say a paycheck, or the cost of a newest want.  Some are exciting and full of promise -- longitudes and latitudes, course numbers in college, weeks until you are due.  Frightening -- stage 4, millimeters, miles.  Essential -- times and dates.  The list goes on and on and on...there is one set of numbers, that seem so far taboo though -- and it puzzles me as to why...though I have bought into the puzzlement.

The set of numbers attached to a woman's body -- dress size, shoe size, measurements, age and above ALL else...her weight.  Even many women that are proud of their figures will hold steadfast to their weight -- not all -- some are more or less above the taboo...so...here's my attempt to go above the taboo.

February 2009:   I looked down at the scale and was shocked at the numbers that stared back at me...I'd finally done it, I'd topped the weight that I had been when I was pregnant with my third child -- I had been 3 years NOT pregnant and I managed to somehow weigh as much as I had at full term with her...and then some.  185 pounds and it didn't look like I was going anywhere fast.  I decided I needed to change, so I did.  I went to the gym 3-5 times a week...and then my determination kicked in and I was there 5-7 days a week, a minimum of 50 minutes each visit.  I was doing weights, and cardio -- it wasn't too long after working out that I noticed a fatty bump protrude in my upper left thigh -- my doctor let me know that it was a fatty lipoma and I could have it removed if it was bothering me.  To me, this was a sad testament to how badly I'd let myself get out of shape -- so I chose to leave it, the more weight I lost, the farther out it seemed to protrude.  I thought about naming it...I didn't -- instead I just kept working hard at losing the weight.

That summer, I worked even harder -- Zumba classes twice a day 4-5 days a week I was spending 10-12 hours at the gym a week...but you know what, I got down to a size 10 -- I wish I could remember what my exact weight was, but I can't.  I was really proud of myself, I kept up the momentum as much as I could -- walked taller (as tall as a 5'3" girl can walk) -- and felt really good about myself.

October 24, 2009:  I run a 5K!  Thanks to Shelly (my amazing triathlete sister in law).

I finished college May 2010, and was very proud to still be in my size 10 -- I had let up on the exercise a little bit...with my senior work load, I was very busy between internships and more or less being a teacher.

Fast forward August 4, 2010 --  I received my key to MY classroom -- a very happy moment of my life the summer took it's toll on me, no prospects of a job, or even signs of an interview threatened depression -- and instead of working out, I found it hard to get out of bed some days...but I was still floating between my size 10 and 12 -- still fit in my interview pencil skirt.  It's a stressful school, but being so thankful to be chosen for a classroom, I didn't care.

With stress, comes eating...and I did. I tried to compensate by heading to the gym a few times a week, vowing to myself to NEVER let me get that big again.  The bump on my leg is still there and according to Darick getting bigger...I deny it -- but he finally convinces me to have it removed...it's time, besides the way I'm heading, I'm sure I'll make a new lipoma to take that one's place if I miss it too much.  So February 4, 2011 -- I have it removed.  Out-patient, and my leg is sore for the next two weeks, I'm walking like an idiot and everyone is asking me if I'm okay.

February 17, 2011: My followup appointment...if you are a doctor and you have news to tell a patient that is potentially life changing: I am begging you to please have someone come with them.  Lie to them -- tell them you need someone to drive you home because we need to do a test or two that might leave you woozy, because NO ONE should hear the word "cancer" alone.

I thought it was a joke.

I don't remember all the other words, something about how they thought it was a lipoma, but it wasn't, looked different, hard shell, egg-like, they had to go back in, here's a pamphlet, call this number, I'm sorry...

I somehow made it home -- on the phone with Darick, barely choking the words out -- I remember sitting at little league practice feeling the breeze on my face for what felt the like the first time ever, watching the clouds, pond, grass...and just crying.



I've watched myself get fatter and fatter until now I'm just plain crazy obese.  I feel sorry for me, because I have a million and one excuses under the sun WHY I'm so out of shape.  Two surgeries -- so running and jumping has been out, standing for prolonged periods makes my entire leg swell up like a balloon..it's been a year, and I still have pain and the ugliest scar on my leg -- D says it's beautiful, he loves the ugly scar -- I can't stand to even touch it.

But that's besides the point -- the point is...numbers.

So, noticing that I'm sadly fat now, I did it -- for the first time in probably 2 years I've stepped on my scale and the shock of the numbers that popped up hurled me into a chasm of even MORE sadness -- the scale this morning said to me 203 pounds.  Two hundred three pounds...and we all know morning weight is so much nicer than night time weight -- which by the way was 205 pounds. TWO HUNDRED FIVE POUNDS.  Maybe that's not so bad for some, but for me at 5'3"??  I'm sure my BMI is way out of control -- maybe somewhere in the 40 range?

So -- some other numbers I need to start throwing around.

I've decided to walk at least 3.1 miles a day -- even if it takes the entire day to do it -- between walking my classroom, and walking the neighborhood in the evening, 3.1 is the goal each day.

I've decided to run another 5K in October -- that's six months from now -- I won't be in the shape I want to be, but I should be able to run another 5K by then.

I've decided to lose numbers off my pounds, numbers off my body parts, numbers off my calories -- because the only way to make my leg be able to carry more weight and be stronger is to work those numbers daily and get that leg stronger...

I need to hold myself accountable for those choices that I make, and this is a good place to help me do it. Day two of walking today -- I managed 3.2 miles of walking to day (and then some when the pedometer wasn't on me) -- I'm realistic, I do not expect to be swimsuit ready this year -- or even next, but I do expect to not be winded when I walk down the street again...and get below 200 pounds before the end of the month -- and hopefully below 185 before my birthday....I'll let you know how it goes.

So...

One year cancer-free and looking forward to getting back to me.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Blessings...

So, the stress will continue to mount...as I know it will...I think I just needed to cry and be upset last night, and my amazing husband let me.  Then my team let me this morning -- have my mini-meltdown -- I think I'm going to be okay now.

Thank you Liane for the positive comments... <3 You are amazing, positive and supportive.

I found my dad's sweater a while ago...it feels good to wear it...I've missed him a lot lately.  I get stuck in that pattern of, I wonder how much happier my mother would be, if my children would feel differently, what kind of relationship I could have built with him if only....if only...and it's easy to feel sorry for yourself -- IF you let yourself, so I won't...and I don't.

It's been a beautifully full week, I can't even pretend that I'm bored, because I'm not...I'm so stacked with wonderful goings-on that I don't have time to be bored.  I got to meet a parent of a student today, and got to brag about her son's progress.  I got to learn about children in poverty today (Ruby Payne research).  I got to kiss my husband "good evening," kiss my children good night, have a short catch up session with my oldest, I got to drive my bestie home...and NOW...I get to wash my face, don my jammies and hit the pillow.

My homeroom is reading Holes by Louis Sachar in Reading -- and it's so neat (and NEVER ceases to amaze me) to watch the kids get into this book -- no matter WHICH book it is...it's the neatest thing ever to see the kids get sucked into the action, the plot, the characters -- it's just fun.  I haven't read nearly as much to this group as I had last year -- last year we always had a teacher read aloud.  I think this year I've only managed 3 -- where last year by this time I was on book#5 and STILL going strong.  It's a great book if you ever get the chance to share it with a child...I'm thinking of reading it with Austin...I think he'd love it.  We're (my class and I) about halfway through and really enjoying it. It's recommended.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

It's been a week...

So, it feels like an eternity since last I blogged, and things have been happening.

First of all, we had a lovely anniversary dinner out.  We went to Chili's and they have a great deal -- dinner, appetizer, 2 margaritas AND dessert for 35$...yum.  Service was awesome...company was the best!

I'm exhausted because we've been so busy between home life and work...I've got exactly four weeks to "D Day"...FCAT Writes...I've been training these students the entire year -- for the 45 minutes they will have on February 28th...a year of working for 45 minutes of testing.

The stress is starting to get to me...my lovely teammate will be helping me blitz them -- as we will both be hitting writing pretty hard for 3 weeks.  I am overwhelmed...and freaking out a little because I am handing off a lot of my power, and that scares me (as I am a control freak to an extent).

I just feel like crying a lot -- and I keep telling myself about how far they have come, and believe me they have come far.  I've got students that wrote sentences that were NOT comprehensible to now they are writing with feeling and emotion and pictures...you should see the pictures some of them can write.  Why am I scared?

I know where they've come from.  I know how far they've progressed.  I know how strong they can be.  I know how passionate they are about SOME subjects.  I know they are capable.  I know they are talented...I know all these things...

But the person that grades them...that's not me.  They don't know that many of them STILL don't use periods like they should.   They CAME to me that way and no matter how hard I've hit it, they still haven't got that down. They don't know that they struggle with the words they use in conversation being a completely different language than the words they read in the books.  They don't know that teachers before me have push them forward, or principals before have, because they didn't want to DEAL with them.  I have students that can't read...can't write...thinking is out of the question.  They don't know that some of my students' parents will move them from one school to the next on a monthly basis, move them from our school to another and then back again several times in ONE school year.  Some of them will only make their child go to school when they are threatened by the truancy officer...the person scoring my tests...they don't know my kids.  Then the students that WANT to learn, but can't because 40% of their class have never been made to behave, or have had things handed to them for so long, and they expect it.  Too many people want to help them...be their friends...make things easier...it doesn't make it easier!!!

I have to take comfort only in the fact that I have done what I needed to do to teach them...please God give them what they need for the 45 minutes because they will be judged...by people that don't know them.

I'm scared out of my mind...please God give me strength to get through this month.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

LIfe gets in the way...

So, Ginger had the courtesy to wake me at 3:00 a.m. this morning. Needless to say, I'm starting to get sleepy, but I'm taking a minute to clear my mind before I head to bed...or I'm filling time so I don't feel so old going to bed before 9:15.

It's been a long day, and all I can think of is how much life gets in the way.  It's kind of blah really.  So much just seemed to go awry.  It's just been an Alexander kind of day...where it's hard to appreciate the good stuff...because it just kind of turns out sideways.

There is so much I want to "do" and I feel like I can't accomplish anything because life gets in the way.  I want to reconnect with people, and life gets in the way.  I want to make plans for the future...and life gets in the way.

Choices were easier when it was strawberry or vanilla, blue shirt or green one, Doc's or Keds...you know -- those kind of ideas.  Now it's so much more complicated and I'm JUST not talking which bill do I let slide until I can catch up on Christmas overspending either. LOL

So, in the spirit of positivity...I want to reflect upon the wow so far...and wow in a good way:

Wow, I've just passed 13 years of marriage to an amazing man that loves me...Happy Anniversary to us, yesterday.  Wow, I have a sleeping teeny-tiny Yorkie draped across my lap...and she's perfectly content to be there.  Wow, we found the icky thing that was making the house smell funny...so glad we didn't have company come over.  Wow, it was a gorgeous cool night that I sat out in the driveway and had a leisurely conversation with my husband.  Wow, Lizzie DIDN'T get run over by the car speeding down our street as she came rolling out into the street WITHOUT looking from her friend's driveway 5 houses down...and she only SLIGHTLY protested when I sat her in timeout for it for her full 7 minutes.  Wow, my husband brought me food (when he didn't have to) since I missed my lunch for a meeting, a good meeting though.  Wow, my preteen is doing the dishes, even if I had to raise my voice to make her do it.  Wow, that same daughter is in her play and so excited because tonight was her first rehearsal.  Wow, my bestie called me and we got to talk a few minutes...I've missed her. Wow, my sweet Mother-in-law called just to say hey and let us know she would watch the kids if we wanted to go to dinner for our anniversary.  Wow, my husband got a 25$ gift card to Chili's so he can take me to a dinner and not interrupt our saving.

Wow...what a great day.

Friday, January 20, 2012

This week...

...has completely kicked my tooshy.

Everything is at right.  My husband is home, my dogs are not barking at every tick and noise, my Lizzie is sleeping across his lap, my older two are happily occupied on art and computer activities.  No one is fighting, no one is angry, everyone is at peace.

With that...I'm old and happily off to sleep.

'Night ya'll.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

National Dress Your Pet Up Day...

So, upon arriving home, the first thing my daughter says to me...is not "hello," "hi" or "It's so nice to see you!" but instead she tells me... "Hey Mom, today is National Dress Your Pet Up Day."

Really? A national dress you pet up day?? Is that entirely necessary? I have to admit -- Ginger does own clothing -- and it's super really cute -- she doesn't wear any of it usually -- unless it's cold out.  Which...well, we live in Florida...'nuff said.

I go and check and sure enough -- there IS a National Dress Your Pet Up day...however, it was January 14th of this year.  In my search to find the validity of this holiday, I've stumbled across a number of other holidays.

SO...Just in case you wanted to know...I bet this is a list of holidays you have neglected to celebrate in the last couple days.  Also a jump start on a few holidays you might like to observe in the near future:

January 3rd: Humiliation Day AND Fruitcake Toss Day -- not to mention Festival of Sleep Day

January 8th: Bubble Bath Day and Male Watcher's Day

January 17th: National Ditch New Year's Resolution Day

January 20th: Penguin Awareness Day

January 24th:  Beer Can Appreciation Day

AND just so you do not forget to observe it -- THIS entire MONTH is National Hobby, Oatmeal, Soup, Bath Safety, Blood Donor, Braille Literacy and HOT TEA month.

To find out how to celebrate these and other holidays...check out the site I found this invaluable information on.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Perspective...

Every day...every single one...I get to wake up next to a man that has chosen me.  Can you believe it?? He picked ME of all the girls, and I love him so very much, even more tomorrow than today.  I can honestly say I still get a delight when I sign my name...Mrs. Harriger -- it's been thirteen years of signing my name "Mrs. Kimberly Harriger" and it hasn't gotten old yet...I don't think it ever will.

Every day...each one that I wake...I have three healthy, beautiful, caring and loving children that call me "Mommy" and that love me.  Not a day goes by without them -- they are safe and secure and loved in my home.  They try and strive, hurt and cry, learn and grow, think and wonder...and they are mine.

Not a day goes by that the sun doesn't rise and set on a job well done, a job that God made me to do...a job that I love going to each day -- no matter the challenges and the strain.  EVERY day is a good day...even with bad things happening -- I not only work -- but I work at a job that in my heart I truly live to do.  The long hours, the extra effort, some draining people that work around me, the draining students that require so much more than at at "regular school."  Not one of those things matter...because I can smile and say, "Good After Morning, Mrs. Harriger's class..." they are MY class.

I have my health.  I do not have cancer...I do not have other health issues that hinder me...I have been healed of emotional afflictions, physical ailments and pain.  I have a healthy heart and yes, I could take better care of my body -- but compared to some...compared to myself...I am healthy...healthier...alive.

I have a home, a car, food in my pantry, clothes on my back, extended family to love (blood, marriage and the chosen ones that have been family for 1...10...16...18...21...25 years -- you know who you are), I have pets, I have so very much...so, so very much.

BUT...even if it all ended tomorrow...even if I lost everything -- all these beautiful gifts of life that I have been given and I so cherish all disappeared...I would STILL be blessed.  I do not deserve all that I have been given, I don't pretend that I'm remotely worthy -- but I will relish in it and love while I'm blessed to love, give while I'm blessed to give, share, laugh, smile, care...while I'm blessed to do so.

Monday, January 16, 2012

My take on football...

Coming from a mother/wife/woman's perspective that grew up in a house that football was a poster on my brother's wall and a game that he watched behind closed doors and NOT a family sport that we watched together...I love football.

I have never had a "team" until I got married and henceforth adopted my husband's 49ers -- which was a good team to adopt because unbeknownst to me cousins, uncles, aunts and other family are on that same train -- it's nice.  Well, we were married in 1999 and shortly after that our 9ers suffered a fall...a slump...and well...it was...depressing.  We watched the few games we could over the last 10 years -- being on the east coast is not conducive to supporting a west coast team...especially in Florida with THREE teams for them to televise. 

That being said -- did you catch that game on Saturday. I'm STILL feeling good about it. Oh man...what a game!!  My cousin told me to hold faith -- I have to be honest, I was counting our blessings for a great season at 1 minute 37 seconds left.  "We'll try again next year." I said to myself...and then....Davis....Vernon Davis...I wanted to cry with him.  It was beautiful...it was the most amazing footbal I've ever seen in my life...I didn't think it was possible....anything is possible.  What a game -- I need a jersey. *lol*

Speaking of...each season my hubby has worn his hat, jerseys, t-shirts....each season...and people would point and snicker. Every Christmas I would have my pick of shirts, hats, towels, cups...any fan paraphernalia that I wanted...I could hit a sports store on Christmas Eve and be covered for 9ers stuff for the year.  This year however...

Seriously folks -- where were you buying all my 49ers gear for the last 10 years??  Why can I NOW not find a hat to save my life, a jersey -- yeah...it ain't happening? Anyway -- I'm glad that people are jumping on the bandwagon -- maybe we can get some show-ups and stays for our Super Bowl party this year... ;')

I'm hoping for another this Sunday...Let's go all the way boys!!!

Friday, January 13, 2012

The good stuff...

...I always tell my kids that the good stuff goes in the middle and I equate it to a Heads or Tails Double Stuffed Oreo Cookie.  Where the top and bottom are similar, but not the same and important and necessary, but generally what you rush through to get to the "good stuff."

I'm hoping this lesson is sinking in -- but honestly, I'm just not sure sometimes...they can recite it -- but do they know what I mean.  ANYHOW, this wasn't intended to be a deep introspective review of my teaching skill or habits...

I have been blessed with three amazing children.  Cassidy is the quintessential over-achieving oldest child.  She tries to mother her siblings, raise the bar ridiculously high and achieves at much of everything that she tries to accomplish.  She excels in academics, she's beautiful, she is nice to everyone that she meets (except her little sister and her mother at times), she is artistic and musical, she can play piano by ear and blows my mind away with her ability with the violin, she sets trends that people follow, she seems to do anything and everything that she puts her mind to.  She generally impresses people with her abilities in just about everything but has taken to melodramatics recently as she's entering her teens.

Then there is Lizzie...the quintessential under-achieving youngest child.  She resists being controlled, she refuses to do the work unless there is a dire consequence or worthwhile reward.  She knows how to dress, she knows how to flaunt her attitude, style and smarts.  She does the bare minimum that she needs to do because she can and STILL excel beyond many of her peers because she's just that good.  She charms people with her presence, she is adored by strangers and has a solid following in 4th grade of fans.  She could out-class Cassidy in achievements...if she wanted to...but she doesn't want to...because she doesn't care, it's not important to her.  She can pick up skills and teacher her classmates, brother and sister if she wanted...goodness knows she teaches me.  She delights people, but has a temper the size of Texas.

Then...there's the good stuff...right there in the middle.  We've got Austin.  He's really a great kid.  He's smart, but not as "smart" as his sisters according to the GSP testing. He's not musically talented, he's not going to win an academy award, he probably won't be the star player on any team as far as skill goes.  He's little, he's fast, he's such a loving child.  He doesn't have any qualities about him that people latch onto...he's handsome, but he doesn't flaunt it.  He's smart...but he doesn't exclaim it.  He's diligent, he's got immense concentration, he can pick up and master a new skill almost instantly,  he doesn't generally complain...about anything...he is such a joy to be a mom to...to be a teacher to...to be a friend to.  He doesn't get the credit he deserves...most of the time. He's sensitive and sweet and I know he doesn't get the spotlight near enough -- he's always been overshadowed by Cassidy's achievements at his old school ("That's Cassidy's little brother.") ...and now it seems that he's being overshadowed by Lizzie at his new school. ("What's it like to be Lizzie's brother?")  He is who he is because of his family and everything that has been part of his life to now... so Austin wouldn't be Austin without Cassidy and Lizzie (or on a slightly larger scale Daddy and Mommy for that matter).

He really is some good stuff though...really, really good stuff.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

You're Never Fully Dressed...

...Without a smile....

I love my daughter -- I'm crazy, mad WILD about her.  I just really and so tired of that song.  I wanted to make a short video and upload it so you could see (I'm so impressed with her) but if I have to hear that song ONE MORE TIME this week I think I'm going to break down into tears. *as I pretend that it is NOT the song she is singing quietly while doing the dishes not 20 feet from me.


I promise to do it soon. I wish I'd gotten to see her audition...we practiced so much that SHE was getting sick of that song.  She mixed up her audition day schedule -- so we sat and waited to be the very last audition today.  I sat with her on a cold tile floor, with my legs falling asleep every two minutes, in my work clothes (a dress) without supper (til almost 8) nothing to occupy my time (except listening to high school students trying to get excited parents, children and other teenagers to shuush so that the auditions could be heard by the director and team of people judging the auditions) and watched my daughter become increasingly more nervous with every stroke of the second hand....tick.....tock.

It was nice to spend awkward time with her, it was nice to BE there for her first ever audition for anything...and it was really all worth it -- completely and totally worth while when she came out of that room beaming from ear-to-ear with her callback paper, with the words..."Congratulations! You have received a callback!" highlighted in yellow at the top of the sheet and a explicit instructions of what that means and how to proceed.

I hope she receives SOME part in the show, I know she will be horribly disappointed initially if she doesn't have a name -- but at the same time -- she will be so excited to be IN the show once the production and rehearsals start running.

I'm so proud of her, and it's sincerely amazing to see her grow and shape into the beautiful, ambitious and talented young lady that she is...despite all the melancholy dramatics, it's moments like today that just really make being a parent a neat experience.

Send good thoughts her way between 3:45 and 7:00 EST tomorrow -- she will be singing, learning a short dance and doing what she can to WOW her way into the show.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Killer heels...

I mean fierce. I'm talking wedge heel, suede shoe -- leopard print.  You'd NEVER think that I'd be sporting them...but I was...and I was a good 3 inches taller wearing them too.

Here's the thing -- me + fashion = huh?  How do you know -- even these fierce, killer heels that I purchased...were done so at PayLess.  They were full price and NOT on clearance though...so they are THIS season's cheap shoe. :)

Here's the thing, my daughter -- Lizzie -- the little one...well she did NOT inherit my obliviousness for fashion.  That child can put together an outfit complete with matching accessories and has schemed out a 'do for her locks and even a makeup PLAN. No, I do not let my 7 year old daughter wear makeup...by plan I mean simply this:  She stands in the mirror and looks at her face and you can see her contemplating what minimal makeup she needs to create her complete cohesive "look" and then she sighs.  There is always a sigh.  NEXT she looks at me with that pathetic look.  Finally, it's there...she adds the words, "I know I can't put on any makeup...but I just WISH I could put on just blush....and a eensy teensy little bit of lipstick....maybe a little bit of purple eye shadow."

By the time she says "eye shadow" the pathetic act has been forgotten and she is now pantomiming the actions of putting on these makeup devices...this is where I usually say no and hand her the clear cherry cola lip gloss by Bonnie Belle.  She pouts, which is perfect for me to take back the lip gloss and dap four spots on her bottom lip and tell her to smoosh them together.  She knows I'm not going to budge and smiles in the mirror at her lip gloss and skips off to tell Daddy how beautiful she looks.  When I say, TELL Daddy how beautiful she looks -- I mean, "Daddy, look how pretty I am...I did my hair myself and picked out this outfit all by myself.  See?"  Then prances off like a diva.

Well, the child isn't shy.  That much I can say -- she struts when she wears her "Miss Christi" boots (black soft ankle boots with an inch heel) and when I say STRUTS...the child moves with purpose, sass and attitude -- think runway.  She will be the first to ask me..."Mommy, are you really going to wear that?  It kind of sort of...well, it doesn't....go."  People...she is seven. Yes, my fashion consultant cannot fluently read or comprehend a fashion magazine, but probably knows more about style than I ever will.

Anyhow, I walk out of my bedroom this morning...wearing my fierce, killer, leopard suede, wedge heel shoe and they literally STOP my child in her tracks. "O....M....G.... I. LOVE. thoseshoes.  Can I have them?"

And THAT, ladies and gents is how I officially know that my shoes were totally fierce and killer...that and the fact that my walking was significantly hindered (being in such a high shoe for the duration of the day).

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A voice only a daughter could love...

My husband informed me last night that no one reads blogs anymore, people are only interested in vlogs these days.  Coming from an overly self-conscious and freaked out individual, you will most likely never catch me vlogging...mainly because the thought of someone judging my occasional outbreaks of adult acne, gigantic nose, long chin and stringy hair face-to-face when I CAN hear what they say is terrifying...I can't imagine what people would say about me in the privacy of their own computer space.  So as paranoia sets in -- no I will never vlog.

This has set my husband on the conclusion that no one will read my blog...except of course HIM. :)  I'm okay with that.

Despite my camera shyness and my strong desire to stay OUT of the spot light, it's funny to think how much I wanted to act and sing when I was young....er....younger. :)  In my head I was a starlet on stage somewhere when I would be discovered and whisked off to Hollywood where I would promptly star in a major movie role and marry Johnny Depp and be set for life.  Alas...it was not to be...but recently I have been discovered.

You would never believe it but I've been singing for 25 years, exercise my voice in many venues (including the shower, stoplights and highways), that I've been a mother for nearly 13 years and it has taken my 7 year old daughter (about a week ago) to discover that I'm a "good singer."  Now I give nightly concerts of "You Are My Sunshine," "Hush Little Baby,"  a number of Disney tunes and any country songs that I can recall from my "listening to grownup music before Kids Place Live on XM" days.

I know that I have not been blessed with the amazing talent of Whitney, Celine or even Martina...but I do have a voice that my daughter loves.  I'll never sell records, or even a single -- I mean...my oldest closes her door, politely...but it does get closed. But Lizzie and Austin got their room clean...the SAME room that I've been requesting they clean for the last 2 weeks...clean...CLEAN CLEAN...like vacuumed and NOthing on the floor within 5 minutes when I said it was too dirty for me to come in and not hurt myself to sing tonight.  I wish I'd taken a before and after picture...I was amazed.

I can't shatter glass, fill houses, call birds, make rodents, forest animals and fairytale creatures abide to my will...but I can clean rooms with my voice...vacuumed, picked up and more than walkable clean.  My children love my voice...or maybe they just love the opportunity to stay up the extra 20 minutes while I sing. Hmmm...now I wonder.

Monday, January 9, 2012

So...


...I've always wanted to blog. I did a spot of it back on myspace...yeah, I know...and when I did that I managed to make a bunch of people mad...ANYWAY...

The trouble is, I'm not really that clever -- and you'd think I should be considering that I teach 4th grade WRITING of all things, have an awesome husband, three incredible children and lead a generally satisfying life...well, maybe you'd not think I should...hmmmm the arguments for my not doing this are stacking up.

I'm 33 (proud to be 33...looking forward to 34) and I'm in my second year of teaching. I'm graciously going gray, I found a handful of grays and was really tickled.  My husband scoffed at my delight, as I counted each of them  I think I'm up to nearly a dozen -- I'm sure it (my delight) won't last long as I am overly vain at times but for the last year I've enjoyed my 12 gray hairs that glisten in my dark undyed hair. 

I graduated college at 31 - just in time for teachers everywhere to be laid off, making it the hardest time ever to be a teacher. I'm a classic "life got in the way of my dreams" case, and I can't honestly say that I'm sad about it.  Could life have been easier? Oh heck YES!  Could life be harder? I'm sure it could...but not by much.  Could I have gone on that trans-Europe backpack trip that I planned and planned with my best friend from the time I was 12 if life hadn't gotten in the way? Probably...well, probably not. See, it's easier to blame it on life getting in the way rather than my apparent and glaring lack of follow-through.  I'll be surprised if I can finish this entry...ummm...keep a blog.

None-the-less it all boils down to one simple sentence:  I am immeasurably blessed.

Despite the preteen-I-hate-my-life-and-everyone-in-it angst of my oldest daughter and my youngest the-world-is-melting-if-I-can't-have-a-pouch-drink-right-now daughter.  I am immeasurably blessed.  Maybe because I have my the-rules-state-you-must-follow-them-to-a-tee-or-the-universe-WILL-implode son that keeps me grounded.  Then there's my husband, that tolerates us all (and does a great job at it I might add). It took a lot of training to get him as good as he is now...not that I'm taking credit for the training -- he went through a lot of trial and error self-training.  Like I said...it really just boils down to, no matter the trials and tribulations...pain and panic...suffering and....another "s" word since I've got the alliteration thing going here...I am immeasurably blessed.